Transform Your Inner Critic
Dear Subscriber,
We hope this newsletter finds you in high gear, joyfully and effortlessly in action toward your goals, speeding toward your ideal vision for your life, and getting results that thrill and inspire you.
But just in case any of that didn’t ring 100% true for you, in this issue we explore the voice of the inner critic that may be holding you back, and how you can transform it into a supportive friend.
Joy and Success,
The Coaches of Artist’s EDGE – Debra Russell and Wendy Keilin
Please note that Wendy is no longer with Artist’s EDGE
Challenge of the Month
The Internal Critic
Are you plagued by internal doubts and self-criticism? Think you’re not good enough, or don’t deserve the success you long for? Do you find that even when you know what to do, you find all sorts of reasons not to do it?
We all carry an internal critic in our heads, and it never shuts up! And the more we fight against it, or try to argue it away… the louder and more insistent it gets.
Fortunately, there’s a better way. You can actually learn to befriend that voice, and turn it from your worst enemy into your most steadfast and supportive ally. Read on for some thoughts on how to do this.
If you want to know (and experience) more, come to our next Artist’s EDGE Membership call, where we’ll teach you a range of different tools and techniques to make your critic your friend, and we’ll lead you through some of them live – this Thursday, March 22nd at 8pm EDT / 5pm PDT. You can attend for only $1.
Debra’s Solutions
Embracing the Critic
When we hear that voice in our heads, criticizing, reducing our value, our instinct is often to either push it away or argue with it. In my experience, neither works very well.
Arguing is just a distraction. Pushing it away, well, it tends to push back – what you resist, persists. So, you are empowering him, and using up a lot of your energy. Moving forward becomes very hard and exhausting because so much of your energy is tied up keeping that voice down.
The inner critic is a part of your brain committed to your survival. He/she is trying to protect you and keep you safe. Back on the savannas, warning us of possible lions – good thing – but in today’s world – not so helpful. It’s really a question of retraining that voice to serve you.
Have a conversation with your critic that goes something like this:
Critic: “If you go on stage, you’ll look stupid!”
You: “I hear you. Thank you for your concern. Can you say that more specifically and positively? What do you need me to know or do?”
Critic: “Hmmm… Well, you should practice your stage patter in advance, and make sure you’ve memorized those lyrics!”
Well, that’s helpful and constructive advice isn’t it? And without her screaming in your ear how you’re going to fail, it becomes much easier to actually prepare that patter and practice those lyrics.
Contact Debra for a Complimentary Coaching Session
Wendy’s Solutions
Understanding the Critic
Understanding the nature of the critic helps you learn how to communicate with it.
You can think of the critic as a separate person (though it’s a person who’s really an aspect of you).
People who are habitually critical generally got that way because someone else was overly critical, cruel, or unloving to them when they were very young. They learned that behavior by example, and as a defense against the cruelty.
So you could have a little empathy for that, right? Especially if the critic is (a part of) you!
Your critic is just a hurt child trying to protect itself. And all it really needs is to be loved, and listened to, and validated. If you approach it that way, it will calm down, stop lashing out, and let you know what it needs… what you need.
This may take some time. The other part of you, the part that’s been trying to protect itself from the critic, hasn’t really been listening, and your critic child may not trust you right away. Be patient. If you continue to ask, listen, and treat it with gentle, loving care, it will eventually come to believe you, and will communicate its needs to you.
By the way, this works with outer critics too!
Please note that Wendy is no longer with Artist’s EDGE
Cool Resources
Methods to Tame Your Inner Critic
The Power of Focusing: A Practical Guide to Emotional Self-Healing by Ann Weiser, Ph.D. Cornell.
This gentle and simple method, explained step by step, lets you tap into your body’s wisdom and is a powerful tool for deepening your relationship with yourself, clearing issues quickly and painlessly, and transforming how you think and behave in the real world.
Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way by Rick Carson
Taming Your Gremlin is a wonderfully irreverent look at our inner critic coupled with a powerful process for gaining freedom from self-defeating beliefs and behaviors.
We will be teaching these and several other methods for transforming your inner critic in this month’s Artist’s EDGE Membership call on Thursday, March 22nd at 8pm EDT / 5pm PDT.
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