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Some Fun Alternative Definitions of FEAR

  • False Evidence Appearing Real – the canonical one
  • False Emotions Appearing Real
  • Future Events Appear Real
  • False Expectations about Reality
  • Finding Excuses and Reasons
  • For Everything A Reason
  • F*%# Everything and Run
  • Failure Expected and Received
  • Fighting Ego against Reality
  • Frantic Effort to Appear Real
  • Federal Employee Antidiscrimination and Retaliation Act of 2002
  • A positive take on it: Feelings Expressed Allows Relief
  • Face Everything and Recover
  • And my new favorite, Forgetting Everything’s All Right

Multiple Streams Step 7: Strengthen Relationships

Artists MBA, Professional ProgramAll the principles you’ve put into practice and hard work that you’ve done in the previous steps come together in this 7th Step of the Multiple Streams of Income business model.

Your pink spoon and product funnel draw them deeper into relationship with you.

The research you’ve done on your niche, their language and preferences and your contribution of solutions to their problems, needs and desires, draw them deeper into relationship with you.

It is in this step that you turn them from prospects and customers into clients and lifetime fans.  It is here, that you transition them from fans into your greatest street and sales team.  It is in this step that you create your community.

And it is through your community that you really make an impact on the world.

In this class, you’ll discover:

  • How to synthesize all the work you’ve done
  • How to deepen your relationship through your email newsletter and social media
  • And what to do with them once you’ve got them on board!

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Confidence

Artists MBA, Professional ProgramBelieving that confidence is something that you have, something you can get, something someone else can give you – that is a misunderstanding.

Confidence is defined as: a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers. If you believe in your own power and ability, you will FEEL confident.

Confidence is an emotion. It is an emotion that is inspired by beliefs. As such, it is neither right, real or true. Therefore, you can choose it.

In this class you will:

  • examine the true nature of confidence
  • explore the beliefs that block your confidence
  • learn how to build your confidence

Additional Resources for this Class:

Prerequisite Class:

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Ready to get serious? Enroll in the Artists Marketing & Business Academy Professional Program to access these classes today!

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Confidence

Confidence, as an issue, comes up for my clients, in one form or another, on an almost daily basis.  Over the years, I’ve worked with them to build their confidence and spent a lot of time reading, thinking and studying the issue.

I’ve observed that those who struggle with confidence can get a boost when something good happens in their life.  They experience some success or get positive feedback from someone they respect.  They go to a Conference or do a workshop and get pumped up and excited.  But often that feeling doesn’t last.  That’s because the emotions are externally motivated and don’t signify a true internal shift.

I think one of the challenges around creating confidence is a foundational misunderstanding of what it actually is.  Without really understanding what is happening and why, it is difficult to create a lasting internal shift from lacking in confidence to feeling fully confident.  And feeling fully confident will lead you to taking the actions you need to take to create success.

What is Confidence?

We tend to use the word in two ways:

  • Confidence is a feeling – I feel confident, or I feel unsure.  It is a description of how you feel and how that feeling causes you to behave – I step confidently up to the podium to speak.
  • Confidence is a belief – I am confident I can achieve this.  And it often implies a deeper set of beliefs about the nature of reality, a trust in the benevolence of the universe.

As I teach in Transform Your Belief – The Key to Success, the relationship between belief and emotion works like this:

And so confident beliefs/ideas/thoughts lead to being in a confident state or feeling confident.

In my experience, trying to change things at the level of feeling is extremely difficult and doesn’t tend to stick.  And “Acting as If” is exhausting.  While a positive result may make you feel better for a little while, because the underlying disempowering beliefs driving those emotions still exist, they will pull you back into the lower emotional state.  The only real lasting change comes from changing your beliefs/ideas/thoughts.

What I’ve found very interesting in doing this work, however, is that changing those thoughts is usually not nearly as hard as people expect.  Because you are a complex being, you have many different beliefs in your belief reservoir.  And those beliefs range from very disempowering to truly empowering. We just have habits about which belief we tend to inhabit.  Which belief we energize or activate moment-to-moment.

So, next time you find yourself feeling uncertain and need a confidence boost, try this:

Step One – Notice and Decide

Notice that you are feeling badly, unsure, self-conscious.  And decide that now is as good a time as any to feel more confident.

Step Two – Identify the Thought

What are you thinking/believing at this moment that has you feeling badly, unsure and self-conscious?  Can you put it into language, specifically?

For example, let’s say you’re going in for an interview, calling for a booking, auditioning for a gig.  And you’re feeling scared, nervous, and unsure.  Perhaps the thought is: “What if they don’t like me?”  Well, what would that mean about you?  Perhaps the underlying belief is, “I’ll never be successful.” Or “I’m a failure.”

Step Three – Choose a Different Thought

So, now that you’ve identified the thought that’s creating the feeling, pick a new thought about these circumstances THAT YOU ALREADY BELIEVE.

See that’s the key.  The mistake most people make with affirmations is that they pick an affirmation they wish they believed, but they don’t.  That’s too hard!  So, pick a belief that you really can get behind.

For example:

  • “The more I practice, the better I get.”
  • “If this opportunity doesn’t work out, there’s another one down the line.”
  • “However this goes, I’ll learn from it and improve.”

See, it doesn’t have to be in direct opposition in order to shift how you feel.  Try just tweaking it by about 10 degrees.

Step Four – Keep Thinking That Thought – On Purpose

Keep thinking it, find evidence for it.  Notice how and where it’s true.  Notice when you’re thinking something else and choose to think this thought instead.  Look for all the ways its true some more.  And think it again.

It’s not that you’ll never have those other thoughts again.   It’s not that you’ll never feel badly again.  It’s that when you do – you’ll know that you can always change your mind.  Just think a different thought.

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How to Manage Conflicting Priorities

In our complex, day-to-day lives, we have a multitude of priorities calling for our attention.  Some call in a whisper.  Others scream from the rooftops.  And the soft voice of the things that we most long to accomplish is often drowned out by the fires and clamoring of these conflicting priorities.

No matter how good your time management structures and systems are, if you don’t figure out how to manage these conflicts, you will be hard-pressed to maintain those systems.   So how do you decide where to spend your resources for the best outcome?

Have Clear Goals

It’s a funny thing – when I know exactly what my goals are, then evaluating and deciding which priorities to invest my time, energy and resources into becomes easier.  When my goals are clear and specific with hard and fast deadlines – then I can decide which opportunities are in line with my goals and which are distractions.

It sounds simplistic, but it’s true.

When your goals are clear it becomes simpler to make decisions and it becomes easier to say “No”, because you know what you are saying “Yes” to.

Create Time Blocks

When you’ve got clear goals and you know what you’re saying “Yes” to, but you still are managing multiple projects and claims on your time, the best way I’ve found to organize my thinking as well as my time is by creating clear time blocks, even days, for each priority or project.

For example, if one of my priorities is working with another person on their priorities, I can say – “I’ve set aside Friday morning for you.”   And I can clear my plate (and my email and phone) from those interruptions until it’s time.

Bottom line – multitasking doesn’t work.  Study after study has shown that the more you are flitting from thing to thing, or doing two things at once, the less effective you are.  By creating a specific block of time to work on a project, you can focus all of your mind, energy and resources to create a better result in less overall time.

And when the idea floats into your mind, “Oh, don’t forget to do X for that other project.”  Just make a note and come back to it when it’s that project’s time.

Ask the Right Questions

Once you’re clear on your goals and you’ve created a schedule to accomplish those goals, that doesn’t mean new opportunities, other people’s needs or even ideas for new projects won’t come up for you.  In fact, I’ve found the more effective I’m being; the more those things seem to happen.  But you can evaluate and make choices about these new possible priorities by asking powerful questions:

Is this my urgency or someone else’s?

Very often, we will prioritize other people’s needs over our own.  And when we try to resist that call, our inner critic starts in with the “Aren’t you being selfish?” message.

Look, your family and your loved ones are important.  If you’re managing a day job in order to pay the bills – your boss and your job are important, too.  But by always prioritizing other people’s needs or priorities over your own, you are actively destroying your own self-worth. You are saying, “I’m NOT worth it.  I don’t matter.”  And if you have children – you are teaching them to do the same.

So, get clear:

  • Get clear on whose agenda you’re serving.
  • Get clear on the consequences of saying “No.”
  • Get clear on what the payoff for you is for saying, “Yes.”

Make sure that what you imagine is the consequence is actually real.  (If I don’t take my sister to the airport, she’ll stop loving me…  Really?) And be careful of the flattery payoff.  Often when someone picks US to help them, we are flattered that they value our talents.  But remember to value your own goals over their flattery.  When all is said and done, you’ll have helped them achieve their goals while sacrificing your own.

Then make a choice and stand by it.  You’re allowed to say, “No.”  Remember, there are no right choices or wrong choices.  There are only choices with varying consequences.   Also remember, that we train people how to treat us.  If you feel like your family doesn’t respect your goals, that’s because you’ve taught them not to.  If you start respecting and prioritizing your goals, they will, too.

Does this project serve my goals?  Which goal, specifically?

The clearer you are on which goal you’re serving, the easier it becomes to make a choice.  And also where in your schedule to place it.

By spending time on this priority am I moving towards something?  Or away from something else – perhaps a goal that brings up fear, considerations or obstacles?

Notice if you’re using another priority to avoid facing something.  (I’m too busy to work on my music, because of yah de, yah de, yah de…)

Remember, there is no right or wrong choice.  Each choice has consequences – some predictable and some not.  The question, then, is:

Does this choice bring me closer to my goals and dreams?

Is this choice in line with my values and principles?

And finally – be realistic about how much time you actually have.  Often when looking at projects or priorities, it’s better to think in terms of serial monogamy than polyamory.  Doing one project at a time and doing it well will bring you closer to the life of your dreams than will working on multiple projects and not doing them as well, or never finishing them.

When looking at opportunities – remember that all opportunities aren’t your opportunity.  And that we live in an abundant universe filled with opportunities.  Don’t just say, “Yes” to this opportunity because it kinda sorta looks like what you want.  You can say, “No.”  It won’t mean that you will never have another opportunity.  In fact, often you have to say, “No” to the mediocre opportunities before the Universe will start sending you the great ones.

An Act of Willpower – the Process of Perseverance

Artists MBA, Professional Program“How do I get to Carnegie Hall?
Practice. Practice. Practice.”
Saadi

We’ve all heard this quote as a tribute to consistent action and perseverance, right?  And some people make it look so easy.  They just do it.  But for many of us, the ability to choose consistent right action, particularly in the face of disappointment and rejection, is a real struggle.

So, how do you develop this ability, if it doesn’t come naturally to you?  The good news is that Will can be developed and built like a muscle.  In this class, we explore:

  • Will, Perseverance, Commitment – Oh My!
  • The biggest obstacles to will power
  • 3 keys to developing will power and perseverance in your life
  • Specific exercises you can do to strengthen your will power

The skill of applying your will to your choices consistently is critical to making your systems work (including, time management, organization, marketing) and creating consistent and sustainable success.  Start developing your will power today!

Additional Resources for this Class:

Prerequisite Class:

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Ready to get serious? Enroll in the Artists Marketing & Business Academy Professional Program to access these classes today!

Your Tuition ($79 per month) includes all Foundation level classes PLUS the Professional level classes PLUS the Time Management Mastery Course & App.

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3 Lessons from American Idol – Top 10

This was a very juicy week for Lessons from American Idol!

The first 2 lessons were pretty clearly expressed by Usher in his role as mentor. I have to say, I think Usher is my favorite American Idol Mentor so far! He wasn’t just interested in the arrangement, he really gave the Contestants constructive and immediately applicable lessons for their performance as well.

Lesson 1: Projecting Your Energy is Everything

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How to Use Feedback and Criticism Constructively

Artists MBA, Professional ProgramThe most successful artists (and people) have made an art of receiving and implementing feedback. But for the rest of us, feedback can be really hard to hear.  It can be painful.  It can trigger all of our negative beliefs both about our own worth and about the probability of our success.

And feedback can come in a lot of different forms.  If you subscribe to the idea:

There is no failure – only feedback*

*(The Leadership Principle that I talk about in “Mindset of a Leader – Part 2”)

Then everything can be taken as feedback, right?  So, using the feedback becomes an even bigger opportunity and challenge.

In this class you’ll discover:

  • The most effective way to solicit and receive overt feedback
  • How to glean feedback from your most challenging experiences
  • How to maintain your equilibrium and faith in yourself when receiving negative feedback
  • The best ways to interpret feedback, particularly conflicting information
  • And how to implement feedback constructively in your life and your art.

Additional Resources for this Class:

Prerequisite Class:

Listen to the Class:

Thank you for your interest. This content is visible to ArtistsMBA Professional, Mastery Program members only. Click here to login.

Ready to get serious? Enroll in the Artists Marketing & Business Academy Professional Program to access these classes today!

Your Tuition ($79 per month) includes all Foundation level classes PLUS the Professional level classes PLUS the Time Management Mastery Course & App.

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No Failure – Only Feedback

Over the last few months, I’ve been doing a series of calls for the Artists Marketing & Business Academy based on Christopher Howard’s Assumptions for Empowered Leadership. For this edition of the Words to the Wise Newsletter, I’m focusing on Assumption #9:

“Only feedback – no failure; therefore utilize everything”

I’ll go much deeper into how to apply it to your life in this month’s Toolbox Teleclass: “How to Use Feedback and Criticism Constructively” for the Artists Marketing & Business Academy.

No Failure – Only Feedback

Failure* –

  1. The condition or fact of being insufficient or falling short
  2. The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends

What is interesting to me about the above definitions is that they are stated as a fait accompli.  Done.  Finished.  But when I hear people describe themselves as failures I have to ask – are you done?  Are you finished?  Because if you’re not – you’re not yet a failure!  You’ve merely tried something in pursuit of your goal that didn’t work, or didn’t work as well as you’d hoped.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

So, instead of using this experience to define yourself (I am a failure) – what if this result is merely feedback?

Feedback* –

  1. A reaction or response to a particular process or activity.
  2. Evaluative information derived from such a reaction or response.

I love using these definitions for failure!  What if this negative outcome (previously defined as a failure) could be viewed as a reaction or response to a particular process or activity and you could derive evaluative information from this outcome?

Failure vs. Feedback

In my experience, when you define yourself as a failure – you stop.  When you define your experience as feedback, then this negative outcome becomes merely one step on your path to success.

So, for example, you went to an audition and didn’t get it; or you asked for a booking from a venue and were turned down; or you submitted a song to TAXI and got returned; or you tried out for American Idol and got slammed by Simon; or any other circumstance that ends in a “NO” response.  And you notice that you’re looking at these circumstances and saying to yourself – I’m a failure.

What if you looked at that experience and said instead – “This is interesting feedback.  Wonder how I can utilize this?  What can I learn?  How can I improve?  What do I try next?  Am I done testing this method – or should I test it some more?”

  • How would you feel from that perspective?
  • What steps would you take from that place?
  • How is that different from what you’re doing presently?

I look forward to hearing how this shifts things for you?

* Definitions from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language

The Mindset of a Leader – Part 2

Artists MBA, Professional ProgramIn this second of three classes on the Mindset of a Leader, we continue the discussion about what a leader thinks and believes.

When we think about leaders, usually our focus is on their behavior and how their behavior influences the world around them.  And perhaps we try to emulate that behavior with varying levels of success.

The reason we have varying levels of success is because behaviors come from underlying beliefs about our world and our place within the world.  In order to become authentic leaders in our own lives, we must build a foundation of beliefs that empower leadership behavior.

In this, the second of 3 classes, using Christopher Howard’s 18 Assumptions of Empowered Leadership, we explore:

  • The second set of 6 Assumptions of Empowered Leadership
  • The benefits and challenges of each assumption
  • And how we can apply them in our day-to-day lives

Additional Resources for this Class:

Prerequisite Class:

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Ready to get serious? Enroll in the Artists Marketing & Business Academy Professional Program to access these classes today!

Your Tuition ($79 per month) includes all Foundation level classes PLUS the Professional level classes PLUS the Time Management Mastery Course & App.

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